


Unrealistic

by ToTillAGarden



Series: Davenport Week [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, davenport week, day 3!, im late again, its still ok though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-08 22:39:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12263499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToTillAGarden/pseuds/ToTillAGarden
Summary: Davenport hasn't played Fantasy Mario Kart before, and according to his crew, that HAS to change.





	Unrealistic

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, it's Davenport week day 3! And I.... Kinda ran out of ideas, so have them play Mario Kart, I guess?
> 
> The theme was friendship/bonds, so it wooooorks. Technically. But hey, I wrote post-canon! And it's not angsty! What a surprise!
> 
> I'll see you tomorrow with the good angst you deserve, though, and thank you for all the feedback so far this week! I love all of you guys a lot, and live off of that stuff.

“Wait.” Magnus put his fork down. “How have you _never_ played Fantasy Mario Kart?”  
Lup, hearing that, stopped her conversation with Taako and turned around. “Holy shit, Capn’port? Even Merle’s played it, and he’s old and weird!”  
“Yeah, even I’ve played it, and I’m old and - wait.” He thought about her description of him for a moment. “Okay, that’s fair.”  
Davenport shrugged. “T-to be fair, I spent m-most of my years on this plane…“ He paused. “Unable to make social connections.”  
Taako shrugged. “You spent most of the years of your life unable to make social connections, but that makes sense.”  
“Um,” Lucretia chimed in, still shook from Davenport’s comment but a part of the conversation nonetheless. “Magnus, the game’s still in your room, right?”  
“How did you know it was-“  
“Don’t ask.”  
“Okay…. But yeah, it is. Do we want to-“  
_“Yes.”_ Lup answered, noticing yet not caring about his frustration over being interrupted twice.  
“It’s never too late to play Fantasy Mario Kart.” Barry added, mouth still full.  
The rest of the group nodded, and Magnus started picking up their plates from off the table and dropping them in the sink.  
“Lucretia, you’re on dishes duty.” Taako had been assigning her to do the dishes for the last month since the Day of Story and Song, but she had yet to complain.  
“Let her do it later though?” Lup asked, her voice suddenly gentle. “It’s more fun with more people.” She paused, and then jumped out of her seat. “Ooh, also - ANGO! DO YOU WANT TO PLAY FANTASY MARIO KART?”  
The boy peeked his head into the room. “I’m right here, you know.”  
“Do you want to play or not?” Taako asked before she could say anything.  
“Of course I do, sir - why were you planning a game of Fantasy Mario Kart over dinner, though?”  
“Davenport’s never played it,” Barry explained, “And I guess Magnus and the twins see it as some sort of tragedy, because now they _have_ to-“  
“It _is_ a tragedy!” Magnus raised his voice, yet smiled. “Fantasy Mario Kart is an essential part of life.”  
“Also.” Davenport added, “I’m sure y-you’re a better teacher than.” He glanced around. “Anyone else in the room.”  
Despite the chorus of protest, Angus beamed at the compliment. “I mean, you’re not giving them enough credit, but let’s go play!”

~

“I hope you all know- th-this isn’t anywhere near realistic.” Davenport looked down at the controller in his hand.  
Angus laughed. “It’s not supposed to be, sir! Everyone knows you can’t blue shell people in real life.”  
“Aw, you can’t?” Magnus pouted.  
“You’d think with battlewagon racing someone would make that happen.” Barry added.  
“Hey Luc, remind me to ask Sloane and Hurley to make a blue shell next race?” Lup turned around, forgetting, for a moment, that she didn’t have a journal in her hands.  
She laughed, and responded with an “Okay, I’ll write it down when I get the chance,” and then turned back to the conversation. “Most video games take suspension of disbelief.”  
“N-no -“ Davenport smiled. “It d-doesn’t get the thrill of driving right at all.”  
“It’s ‘cause you haven’t played a real race yet.” Lup responded. “Just imagine knocking someone over right before you reach the finish line…”  
Angus frowned a little. “We just wanted to teach you the powers and controls-“  
“Yeah, I get it!” Davenport laughed. “B-but even when you’re immersed you’re not actually feeling it.”  
“I’m sure once you get good at it-“ Magnus tried, yet stopped as Davenport shook his head.  
“W-when you race in a battlewagon, o-or when I flew the Starblaster, you… You have a crew with you. Or even when you go alone, you-“ He paused. “You feel the wind on your face. And th-there’s real adrenaline.”  
It was quiet, for a moment.  
“Plus,” Davenport smiled. “I-I’m already good at it.”  
“Oh yeah?” Lup smirked. “I bet you 5 gold you’re losing to me right now.”  
“Only if you give me 10 if I win the whole thing.”  
“Deal.” She said, and the two shook hands. “Taako, you better help me win-“  
“I can’t control that~” He almost sang the words, spinning the remote in his hands. “Taako’s out for first place, sister.”  
“Oh it’s on, then!” She laughed. “Babe?”  
“You know I suck at this, but of course.”  
“Let Capn’port pick the maps though?” Magnus turned around, having failed, in the background, to make bets on the game with Angus.  
Lucretia raised an eyebrow. “If anything, that’s just setting him up to fail.”  
“Or setting the rest of us up to fall off of Rainbow Road.” Merle laughed, enjoying the blush on the gnome’s face.  
“You wouldn’t make it harder for yourself, though, would you sir?” Angus seemed puzzled, and it got Barry to laugh.  
“You’d be surprised - you should have seen him during mission training, he used to up the difficulty-“  
Taako mock-yawned. “Yo Barold, save the stories for bedtime, ok? I want to kick ass before I fall asleep.”

They picked up the remotes, Magnus rushing for player one before anyone else could make a move, and picked their characters and carts - of course, Davenport spent forever on thinking whether he wanted wheels that gave him more handling or acceleration - but then got to map selection, and Davenport looked at Magnus.  
“So…. I h-hate to prove them right, but - what’s Rainbow Road?”  
Angus laughed. “It’s the infamously hard map in every Fantasy Mario Kart game, sir! Everyone falls off of it.”  
Davenport smiled - a mischievous one, this time, like whenever he used illusion magic. “Let’s try that one first, then.”  
Magnus raised an eyebrow. “You sure about this?”  
He nodded. “Trust me.”  
“Ooookay, whatever you say, Captain.” Magnus clicked it, and the music started playing, and everyone went quiet.

~

“Fuck.” Davenport looked up at the corner of the screen and broke the silence, causing everyone to glance over at him. “I got a coin again.”

**Author's Note:**

> In hindsight, this was mostly inspired by that one time my grandpa saw my cousins and I playing Mario Kart and the first thing he said was "where are their turn signals?" because he thought it was supposed to teach us how to drive.
> 
> Also if you need comment inspiration, one thing I've really been feeling writing this one is how much I wish I could write post-canon Davenport with a good stutter.... So many people do it so well, but I feel like I don't do it enough? I tried to up the ante here though, because I didn't do enough of it in Post-Wonderland at all, but if you got any advice on that, I'd love to hear it!
> 
> Also, 3 extra bits:  
> -Davenport's in first place for that race until Angus blue shells him, and after that vs. match, they officially make a rule never to let him pick any maps again. Too much Rainbow Road, lava, and bowser castles, and not enough Cheese Land.
> 
> -The bit with Magnus trying to cast bets with Angus consists of a "Sir, doesn't this count as gambling?" and Magnus trying to protest, but then Lucretia raises an eyebrow and then he wiggles his back, and then Angus is very confused before going "I'm too young for that, sir, so no thanks!"
> 
> -Last but not least, you better believe Lup remembers to tell them about the blue shell thing, and there's TOTALLY one in the next battlewagon race.


End file.
